Guilt

Everyday I feel an overwhelming amount of guilt for being sick. I feel like I'm ruining my kids childhood. A small part of me knows it's not my fault, yet I can't help but think that I've failed them by merely existing. I get jealous of people who think nothing of taking their kids to the pool for the day or running off for the weekend for a mini vacay. My oldest daughter is starting to notice it too, everyday she asks me of I've taken my meds or if I have been able to eat and she's only 5. I keep teasing myself with the notion that someday it will all be better but who really knows. Not knowing what life holds can be a scary thing but so is being a mother of three kids and I'm still standing. Now that I'm done with my little pity party I guess it's time to jump back into the adventure.