9:00 am- Today is my oldest daughters 5th birthday party so far I have only heard "is it my party yet what time is my party" about 100 times. I wish I were exaggerating. I also wish I could smoke a joint right about now
10:00 am- I bravely put the table cloth and cake out a little to early and one of the babies streaks by ripping off half of the cheap paper ruffles. Now the oldest is demanding that I repair it with "duck" tape. Sorry honey, no white trash party today, can't have the other mommys at school seeing that.
11:00 am- Put all 3 girls in their princess dresses and immediately one of the babies sneezes and a four inch booger hanges off of the pink tutu. Said baby runs off just as the doorbell rings.
12:00 pm- as oldest is opening her presents she looks at a makeup kit and loudly announces "LOOK MOM, NOW I CAN LOOK LIKE A WHORE". fml. Where did I put that joint. I start making martinis.
1:00 pm- Now that the kidlets are all jacked up on sugar we herd them all ouside to hit the pinyada. My husband decides spinning them around would be a good idea and oldest ends up taking a crack at some other little girls head instead of the pinyada. I wish I could pretend I cared but she's one of those kids that bug the holy living shit out of me anyways.
2:30 pm- I "accidently" forget to give kids their party whistles until they are leaving. My bad. Have a nice ride home.
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